Top 10 Must-Have’s For A Newly Single Woman

I recently took a trip to the UK to visit my dear friend Angela.  I had been divorced maybe two years at that time.  When she saw me, she was flabbergasted!  “Nancy, you’ve got to pull yourself together.” She was amazed at how I’d let the fashionista in me die a slow death…along with my marriage.  So off we into London for am “extreme” makeover.

I got a brand new haircut, fresh makeup, and a stunning new outfit.  I was a new woman and holy shit I felt terrific!  If you don’t believe me, you should talk to members of the support group I was in who couldn’t believe the transformation.

Hey, sometimes we let go when things get bad.  But ask me for my opinion and I won’t hold back, promise!

A new look, outfit, and a couple of compliments can change your outlook on things.  Here’s my start at a go-to wardrobe you MUST HAVE as a single, mid-life woman.

Top 10 MUST HAVE’S FOR A NEWLY SINGLE WOMAN (NSW):

Little Black Dress – I know its cliché, but it’s a wardrobe necessity.  If you think that black is too aging, try colors like chocolate brown, steel gray, navy blue and eggplant.   Ann Taylor is a great place to pull together this sassy number

High Heels – Our legs look amazing in them and men love em’.  They elongate your legs, pull your posture up, and turn you into a taller woman immediately.   I personally like to shop Nordstrom’s, but I have found some hot numbers at Payless too.
Great Pair of Jeans - Not mommy jeans that conceal your ass!  They make you look dowdy.  Go for the darker denim (slimming), medium waist (because we tend to have waists at our ages), and don’t hem them too short.  No shit, this is a big no-no.  A longer pant leg makes you look taller and that’s a good thing.  Splurge on one good pair.  Believe it or not, my favorite pair I bought for under $100 at Cache!
White Shirt – It’s an essential and will go with everything you own; jeans, shorts, pencil skirt, etc.  You can’t walk into a retailer of any kind and not have a wide selection to choose from.  If you pop that collar up, you’ll be looking like Audrey Hepburn in no time.
The Pencil Skirt – This never goes out of style and looks great with a sweater, blouse, and the classic white shirt.  It can be dressed up or down depending on the fabric.  I have two of them, one in denim and another in black.  I live in both.
Spanx – Let’s give it up to Sarah Blakely for coming up with these wonder under garments.  I had a hot date back in January with a smokin’ guy.  I seriously needed to impress.  Thank God for Spanx!  I was locked and loaded into that silk, body skimming, black dress without a hitch.  The “expanded” version of Spanx covered the tummy, butt, thighs and my scars from the liver transplant.  Hospitals should be giving these things away as parting gifts!
The Right Accessories – They are often overlooked.  The right accessories can update and change your wardrobe instantly.  Check out Target, TJ Maxx and Marshalls and Forever 21 (I know it’s your daughter’s store, but if you can look through the racks, you can find some affordable, trendy and snazzy accessories).
Sexy Black Boots – Just like the sexy heels, men love these!  You know the kind.  My best friend Sandy tore though my closet last year and tossed every boot I owned away.  We then hit Marshalls and found the perfect pair of lace up boots.  I wore them to death last winter, and I have already taken them in to the cobbler for this season!
Something Sexy – Drop those sweats!  Get something that makes you feel slinky and wonderful.
Appropriate Overnight Bag – Get it ready to go on a moments notice.  Don’t forget to have it fully equipped with a toothbrush, hair supplies, etc.  It’s great when you’re traveling as well.  Don’t forget TSA’s 3 oz. Rule for liquids and buy a box of quart size bags as well.  You’ll be glad you did when being screened at the airport.

Other necessary resources:

Be well groomed.  This is not the time to let you go.  Keep up with mani’s and pedi’s.  You can do them yourself and save a bundle to boot.

Get a great hairstylist for your cut, color, and whatever else your coif needs!  I discovered a straightening method this year and don’t know how I lived without it all these years.  Money in the bank, because I can finally style my own hair.

A great esthetician for the occasional stress-related outbreaks, facial hair removal, and body waxing professional (don’t make me elaborate on this one – you get the drift).

Have an OBGYN who can prescribe birth control.  The last thing you want is another baby, believe me!

Get a Wii Fit or a membership to a local gym.  It’s a great stress reliever.   If you want to indulge in Ben & Jerry’s, you can lose the extra calories in a work out!

Health

“If you don’t have your health, you don’t have anything.”  Whoever said that is an f-ing genius!

The regular routine of a healthy diet and exercise can relieve a tremendous amounts of stress, not to mention tighten up that behind, boost your confidence, and better prepare you for any unforeseen health problems.

If there is one thing I’ve learned, your health is an asset, and you must strengthen your temple.
I am a living testimony to this!

After my separation in 2004, I became so stressed out as a result of the break-up, my attempts to manage my house on my own, run a business and care for my three very young children, that I allowed the stress to get the better of me.  Don’t let that happen to you.

Here’s a Top 11 List of Things to Do to Help Prevent Unexpected Health Crisis and to

Improve Your Quality of Life:

All women should have annual pelvic exams – From the ages of 25 to 64, all women should have basic screens each year that include height, weight, and blood pressure.

Regular dental exams – Several diseases can be linked to your oral health, things like cardiovascular disease to pre-term labor in pregnancy.  Besides, who doesn’t like a beautiful pearly smile?

Love you – Your self-image can have a tremendous affect, either positive or negative, on your health and happiness.  Chose to be around people who are positive, make you feel confident, loved, secure, and open.  Don’t hang around people who bring you down.

Stress anyone? – Stress is any change in your normal routine or health.  Adopting some stress management techniques can lower your risk of stress-related health conditions.

Love the skin – Always, ALWAYS wear sunscreen.  Year round sunscreen can prevent and slow down the signs of aging.  It also protects you from skin cancer.  Although many of us think we don’t pretty or healthy without the glow of a tan, there is almost nothing that will age your skin faster tanning and the accompanying sunburns that almost always occur before you even get a tan.

Exercise – Exercise will literally extend your life expectancy, not too mention improves your cardiovascular health and circulation.  It also lessons the symptoms of PMS, menopause, and diabetes.  Oh!  And please don’t forget the copious amounts of energy you receive from a great work out.  The benefits of good exercise habits are numerous and it improves your libido!  Yowza!

You are what you eat – Proper nutrition can improve your complexion, extend your life, help your nails (calcium ladies!), add extra energy, the list goes on and on!  Are you eating a healthy diet that meets the daily nutritional requirements set by the USDA?

Smokin’ – It’s plain and simple, just don’t do it.  There is nothing beneficial about it.  Find other ways to curb your stress.  Try hoppin’ in the car for a road trip with a friend, a hike, a new restaurant, or maybe a jog.

Boozehound – So yeah, there is new freedom and nights alone.  Watch what you drink ladies, or should I say – watch how much you drink.  It’s easy to fall into a glass of wine after a long stressful day.  Make sure you don’t fall into this rut after the end of a relationship.

Get some! – And practice safely while you are at it.  Protect yourself from STDs/HIV and the potential “accident.”

Buckle up for safety – It’s easy to forget when we are loading into the car in the morning, buckling up kids, trying not to spill the coffee, and get to work on time.

The Dating Game

I was blubbering to my friend Glynne when I found out my husband, who had recently “walked out the door,” was suddenly involved with another woman.   She quickly reminded me that when I find someone, I simply “wouldn’t care if she (the girlfriend) was putting chopsticks up his anus.”

How true.  At the time though, it was a killer.  It was like being punched in the gut and having the wind knocked out of me.

Fast forward five years and I’m thoroughly enjoying my single status.  I didn’t think it was possible on that first dreary night while contemplating my estranged husband in a compromising position of sorts (see chopsticks).

Here’s what I know now about dating now:

Top 10 Things You Need to Know about Dating

Single Men DO exist.  Go find them.

Love takes time, certainly not decades.

Your standards have changed, but remain open to the possibilities.

Use a three prong approach to meeting someone:  friends/family, on-line, and involved in something you’re interested in (animal shelter, soup kitchen, etc)

Find a buddy or wingman.

Get a life, then get a love.

Organize and practice your priorities.

Look the part.

Get happy and have a good attitude, it’s the best aphrodisiac.

Buy Diana Kirschner’s book, How to Find Love in 90 Days and practice what she preaches!

Get Yourself a New Career

For those of you who haven’t held a “real” job since you were in college – fear not.

Anyone who’s managed a husband, house, and children is uniquely qualified for a variety of new professions.  I will tell you, most of our estranged spouses couldn’t qualify for our multi-tasking adventures.

Take an assessment of all of your management tools, resources, and spread the word about getting back into the work force.  Networking truly is the key.

You can do it!

For those of you who have been working all these years, watch how you express your situation in the work place.  Put your game face on and vent to just your friends.  Do not talk to co-workers or your boss about your situation.

New Career

For those of you who haven’t held a “real” job since you were in college – fear not.

Anyone who’s managed a husband, house, and children is uniquely qualified for a variety of new professions.  I will tell you, most of our estranged spouses couldn’t qualify for.

Take an assessment of all of your management tools, resources, and spread the word about getting back into the work force.  Networking truly is the key.

You can do it! For those of you who have been working all these years, watch how you express your situation in the work place.  Put your game face on and vent to just your friends.  Do not talk to co-workers or your boss about your situation.New

Paging Steve Carrell

Now Paging Steve Carell

I insist, and believe, that Steve and I are spiritually connected.  He is, after all, married to a Nancy.

If I can’t have him to myself, I resign that his relationship to a Nancy is adequate.

Sigh.

Call me crazy, but those dark days spent in the ICU, were a little easier watching NBC’s The Office.  I’m convinced the nursing staff thought I was nuts due to the hysterical laughing that would emanate from 5A every Thursday night.

Steve isn’t my normal “type,” but his character’s dim-witted sense of self, is a massive turn on!I relish thinking that this guy actually grew up one town away from where I currently live, and he attended the posh private schools of Concord!  It kills me!

My friend Marilee has clued me in to his digs in Marshfield.  It’s all entirely too likely that I will head over to scope him out!

Crushes are so invigorating and refreshing right?